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And I know now that happiness is not real, joy is not real, all is fleeting and empty. I do find one temp job that ends and then I decide to give up my computer work for a new field that has me going into business for myself again. I can understand feeling totally worn out and "done".
15 years later I'm still trying to make the business work. It can be hard at those times to find the inner strength to go on. I hope you find it in yourself to find what it takes to give you strength.
You might be able to do this with simply being introspective, some feedback from family or the few friends you have, self-help materials, or seeing a therapist. Non-profit agencies, such as Catholic Charities or Jewish Family Services, might also be able to help. I just cant trust people anymore and don't want to be in that environment, which is difficult because I have to do it to put a roof over my head.
The important thing is to be open to finding a way to achieve your goal and to be persistent. Try using a search engine to find local services (or even asking a local librarian to help you research services -- for your physical health, mental health, support with more training or finding a job). You might find it helpful to write a list of things you can try doing. Then work on the list a little at a time -- even when you don't feel like it. Because of this I just try to avoid people and the gossip so no one wants to be around me, so I'm always alone and left out of stuff and it effects my career.
As you think about this, allow yourself to really take in the positive messages. This is where professional assistance may be your best option, though certainly not the only one.
If you find yourself rejecting the message, remind yourself that they really do see you in these ways. And if the assistance you seek falls completely short, you may need to seek help elsewhere.
I have been hospitalised countless times, have attempted suicided many times, and have a deep fascination with death and the macabre. I have suffered from depression through elementary school, through high school, undergrad, and grad school. I'm almost 50 with no real career anymore and I have no motivation because after seeing what I have in workplaces over the past 8 years, I'm so discouraged and it's very clear people have their own agenda and will use who they can to further that, even if it means pretending to be your friend for their advancement.
Now I am severly indebt due to student loans and suffer from deep poverty. I used to be a very passionate person and had tons of ambition and was excellent in my field, people would headhunt me for jobs and I was having to turn them down.
Sometimes, though, people need to do more to help boost their morale. When people hold a negative perception of themselves, it is not surprising that they feel quickly defeated when faced with challenges.You may find this exercise surprisingly difficult to do. Practice it regularly until you feel more comfortable with being seen in a positive light… As your sense of self-acceptance grows stronger, you will be more likely to take setbacks as momentary problems, not proof that you are inadequate. With such persistence, no matter what your goals are, you will increase your chances of achieving them! She is also a regular contributor for the Web MD blog Relationships and is the relationship expert on Web MD’s Relationships Message Board. Told many times through out my life (I am 59} that I needed help..where to turn?Making Change blog posts are for general educational purposes only. Even as a small child I can remember my Mom saying that I needed help. I have failed at everything, every job, every relationship, every decision, my whole entire life.Not every wound can be healed by words, because in the end, they are just words, and words are air. If you cannot find the strength in yourself, it is important to find help.Either you learn how to ''live'' with it, or like me, let it fester and let this useless form of existence end quickly. Maybe a therapist or a clergy person or someone else who can give you a hand and help you find the inner strength when you can't.