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But on the off chance it would crush your wife to be told everything, just tell her about Ms. After a few tense years, we started couples therapy.
During therapy, my husband revealed that he was never in favor of the openness.
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But almost immediately, he began talking about how he wanted to hook up with others. I feel tremendous guilt for even thinking about splitting up, so I keep hoping we'll stumble on the thing that will work for us.
I don't know what to say when he says I should be monogamous to him while he gets to hook up with others. Gay Marriage Having Crisis I've written about a few gay couples—and a few straight ones—where one half gets to hook up with others while the other half doesn't.
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The tragedy is how unnecessary your choices have been.
There are women out there who aren't interested in monogamy, there are female cuckolds out there (cuckqueans) who want cheating husbands, and there are masochistic women (and men) out there who get off on the thought of being with a person who would like to crush them. We met in college and, except for a six-month break, we've been together ever since.
So long as those desires are consciously eroticized, fully compartmentalized, and safely expressed, you could have done everything you wanted, ASSHOLE, without harming anyone. It seems like you want out, and your wife definitely deserves better, so cop to one affair, since copping to all of them would crush her—or so you think. I made an open relationship a requirement at the start.
People are often way more resilient than we give them credit for, and convincing ourselves that our partners can't handle the truth is often a convenient justification for lying to them. While my husband had jealousy and trust issues, he hooked up with others regularly.
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I agreed to a monogamous relationship, and I've gone a year without hooking up with anyone else.