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You learn the true meaning of the word “chemistry” when you don’t have it. Or you have a good time, but you start wishing they won’t call. Now, people have the ability to “like”, “love”, “haha”, “wow”, “sad” or “angry”.
Yet there they are, making you feel good with their notifications and perfect smiles. Some apps do a better job than others at facilitating real connection.
Every once in a while, I find myself thinking that online dating is a good idea.“It’s better than nothing,” I say to myself, or, “It’s not like I’m going on Tinder, I’ll try this great new app.”So I join a site and spend hours setting everything up and talking to guys. I spend hours picking the best pictures and crafting a smart, funny bio. I smile when I get a notification from someone who likes my profile or wants to chat. You don’t have the compatibility to date these 100 people. If you fall into one of these categories, it won’t much matter if you find yourself without intimate connections on these sites.
I’m sitting there, refreshing the page every few minutes. You probably don’t even have the compatibility to date one of them. But if you are looking for a genuine connection and a long term relationship, online dating, despite its convenience, despite the fact that it AN IMPORTANT CAVEAT TO THIS PIECE: Not all dating apps are created equal, and not all online dating experiences are the same.
Now Facebook probably doesn’t do this with the intention of making us emotionless robots. And when you realize that a “like” is just a hologram of an emotion, why does it feel so good when you get the notification that someone else has liked your post? It’s about the gamification of the experience of connection. When a dating app allows you to open it up and see that you have 100 new matches, they are clearly valuing quantity over quality.
I’m lighthearted, I tease, once in a while I express a genuine sentiment — essentially, I say all of the right things. That’s Facebook controlling our ability to think, feel, and express ourselves deeply.