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It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.
But the best thing I did was take her to Italy for our 20th anniversary." The Priest said "Luigi, you are an inspiration to all husbands here today. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital.
Please tell the audience what you plan for your wife for your 50th anniversary." Luigi proudly replied "I'm gonna go and get her."He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by an ambulance.
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. " She answers, "Your horse called." You'll love this one!! " And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs? Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. " A woman on the phone to her friend; I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctors permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull! The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. " she cried, "0 just to tell me my duck is dead! If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been , but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now 0." The church held a "Marriage Seminar" and the Priest asked Luigi, as his 50th wedding anniversary approached, to share some insight into how he managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. "The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? the one that's red and has thorns." "Do you mean a rose? " And she replies: "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though". " God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction and tummy tuck.The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. Luigi replied to his audience, "Well, I tried to treat her well and spend money on her. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer.
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There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and he hasn't called back. A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.